It’s an amazing psychological phenomenon—how the mind stores images and then reacts to triggers. Most of us have had the experience of, for example, driving a car and, all of a sudden, feeling overcome by a sad feeling. We get in a bad mood—doing nothing, just driving—and we don’t know why.

What can happen is this: While you are driving you hear a song on the radio that happened to be playing in a restaurant when you were breaking up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You may not have known that the song was playing at the time; it could have been background music. As you were experiencing that traumatic moment, this song was playing, “She loves you, Yeah, yeah, yeah,” and you did not even notice it. Then one day you happen to be feeling really happy. You are driving down the highway, it’s a beautiful day, and the radio announcer says, “Now let’s hear a song from the Beatles: “She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah.” You’re just listening, and all of a sudden you’re getting very depressed. You don’t know why you’re feeling depressed, but the words “she loves you” access that feeling in your memory bank.

This same kind of reaction is triggered in many of us regarding G-d and Judaism. And when that happens our minds bring up a lot of baggage. I was told that some circus trainers teach bears to dance by making them walk on hot coals. When the bear is walking on hot coals, it starts to make jagged movements from the pain. As the bear is walking over the coals and shaking in pain, the trainer plays music that later becomes a trigger for the pain of the coals. At that point, they can bring out the dancing bears for all to watch with wonder and joy. When the music starts to play, the bear starts to dance. But his heart cries because he is in a lot of pain.

A similar thing happens for many people when it comes to religion. I have met people from religious backgrounds who once kept Shabbat, ate kosher, and prayed three times a day. But these practices were joyless and came with a lot of fear, oppression, and guilt. These people’s negative experiences turned into heavy baggage and painful triggers that forced them to run from G-d and any religious institution. I don’t think most of us have such intense feelings of repulsion but none-the-less to get started on a spiritual journey we need to unpack our baggage and get off our guilt trip.

Rabbi David Aaron
Author of Endless Light, Seeing G-d, The Secret Life of G-d and Inviting G-d In